Tuesday, June 14, 2016
Monday, March 28, 2016
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
So clearly this post is just a way for me to get out some of the things that have been going on with my journey into "me". It is written to help a few people understand what I have been going though, and also as a way for me to catalog what have been going on with me, especially over the last 6 or so months of this crazy and wonderful life I lead. I hope you enjoyed!
Tuesday, March 1, 2016
So I was laying down on the couch. Dead tired, trying to nap. I had been out past 3am and up to work at 8am. I closed my eyes and a something started to happen. A pressure in between my eyes. It felt like I had just taken a dose of DMT.. but no fractals, no colors, and of course no DMT. Prsssure building, pressure building, and the BAM! Gone. I am in my body waste deep in water without a shirt on. There are other people wandering but they don't really appear to have any distiguishable features even though everything is in a pretty intense HD. I am still feeling the pressure. For a moment I wonder if I am dead. So I am moving through the water, down a flooded street it seems. I am hyper focused on how I got here, why I am trippin without drugs, and wondering if this is it or not. While contemplating I disconnect from my body in the hallucination. I turn around and face myself... It is me looking at me, and I think .. wow this is strange. I begin moving with some urgency although it isn't clear why, where , or if I am even in control.
Nextthing I am aware of I am in a wet building, like a warehouse with a leaky roof. A woman that reminded me of alex's GF in the TV show Continuuum (although it certainly wasn't meant to be her) hands me a knife. I am like wtf? Then she pulls out a knife and says it is time for my training. She comes at me with a knife and I grab her arm, deflect it, bring her to the ground with her arm "chicken winged" towards her while she is still holding the knife. I am over her telling her to stop that I don't want this type of training... she has some tears in her eyes, and her face is dirty. There was blood but not from our altercatiion.
Then my phone rings is real life. I snap back into reality.
It had to be a lucid dream. DMT isn't much of a flashback drug and I haven't used any since the trip where I was suddenly a black guy, with a retail badge named Jefferey. More on that in my next blog. I have been trying to figure out how to put that into words effectively.
This is the 3rd but most memorable lucid dream I have had since the Wife left. I am not sure if it is lack of restful sleep, DMT, stress, or what.. but it only happens during naps and it starts with the pressure in between my eyes and then PoP! Gone.. kind of like breaking through on DMT.
Monday, February 22, 2016
Monday, November 30, 2015
Friday, November 13, 2015
This could be a political rant but its actually me shaking my finger at you. We are ill informed, conformist, and we are so afraid of being looked at as anything but patriotic we have forgot what America is. Watching these facebook posts daily about the Republicans this, Obama that... we elect these people. They aren't responsible.. we are. We know it too, so we lash out at these people.. like a teenager that doesn't get what he wants for his birthday. Its sad.
Someone said to me during a discussion yesterday that I am probably one of those people that support McDonalds employees making $15 and hour. When it was said I actually did feel embarrassed that I think they should. Then I noticed who was saying it.. and that they probably make about $15 an hour and are ashamed of their station in life. They are the same mindset that are against Mexican immigrants. The issue isn't the immigrants its the people that hire them. They are fulfilling a need. The illegals are the people that hire them not the workers. At what place do you have to be in your life that you are afraid that someone with no social network, college education, work permit, or proficiency in english is going to steal your job. If you are really worried about that you are self conscious about yourself.. not immigrants or fast food workers.
America is a melting pot of immigrants. It is what made us great. I am just sad. How did I become the minority view on common sense?